Thursday 6:24
It's unfair to not talk about the last day. Regardless of my level of anxiety and or fear of the unknown. Today is the last day and it's a half day. And yesterday we had a half day which was primarily just giving kids a chance to play outside and and catch up with the ones I don't really connect to during the week because, as a teacher, we are pressed, just do our jobs and get things done.
It's hard to form relationships. I mean, they are little kids and they like to play and I really do want my dance class to be like that. Be more playful and less more play oriented I should say and less focused on the fear of academics, which many of them have anyway. But, nevertheless, each day. I've had a little bit of tension due to the fact that I press myself it's, I want to state this unequivocally. Nobody pushes me more than I push myself, and when I feel worries, or, or, I feel as though I'm falling behind. It is because I allow myself to pressure myself into doing more and pushing more and being harder on myself than anyone else. So, in that sense, It is almost harder to let down, then it is to just keep going at it. Full Tilt.
Even though today is a half day I have a few commitments including Joshua was coming into help me, and though help is always needed. Today it's more about entertainment. And I guess I feel very grateful that he still is a kid that wants to come and see me and that is so cute and lovely and pretty soon you'll be too grown up for that so I'm, accepting it. With three classes today as opposed to five it is my light day. The first graders come in after elective. And then the ABA class. And finally the K1 class so it's, again, it's a very relaxed day, even when I'm doing curriculum, but we particular on these days where the expectation has not that it has slipped but it is more realistic as to where not only we are but where the students are in these final hours of school. So I will walk forward with my head held high and, again, you know, the slights and the Miss treatments that I feel I'm trying to just ignore. And give myself, kudos for being as nice to every person as I can be.