W17D79 (Thursday) . I rarely get to work this early and so I am able to write my reflection early and this makes it easier for me to look back on the day later, depending on what I've said. Today is Thursday. It is the 153 day after National Dance Institute. I have had my first three days the week though I was sick on Monday. Still, I had three days essentially, of working tirelessly towards making the musical run well yesterday.
Our rehearsal was last night and I always come away from it a bit disappointed. Let me explain. When I say I'm disappointed, it's not in the students. Again, it's always in my own performance. I didn't cover enough material, my rehearsal notes were sketchy, I made mistakes and had to correct them. It is my custom to beat myself up for a less than adequate job which is perfectly understandable being who I am and what I'm working on. But thinking of the inclusive model. I'm beginning to remember that we have to accept all levels and that goes for a teacher as well.
I'm looking at my level as being in the developing stage. I have great ideas and lots of resources and tons of energy. What I lack on some days is perspective, even though I've been here long enough to have gained some insight. An inclusive model means that each student has adequate access to the same materials, so one needs to differentiate or individualize content. To do so requires a reflective practice, which I have been developing for the past year. That is just what I have remind myself; the question is, how do I intend to do so with my rehearsals?
Today I'm looking back at the Tuesday and Wednesday's rehearsals. There is adequate help and I believe I delegated well. I negotiated and solved problems that arose and didn't try to take "blame" but used them as instructive devices. It felt inclusive because everybody was working; the students, other teachers, and crew. Everyone was very engaged and I am reminded to not give up on yourself any more than you wouldn't give up on your students. Finding the best in one's work is a healthy way to live and teach.