W13D63 (Friday) I was dreading today a little, because I had said a college student from Emerson could come to watch classes. Friday is a day I always am anxious to get through because it is the end of the week. And having someone to talk to sounded exhausting. It kept running through my mind "maybe she'll cancel" or "maybe I should tell her to cancel". But neither occurred. So I steeled my resolve, and readied myself. Something happened today. I gave it my all. It always happens when someone is watching me; I "perform". And guess what? I wasn't tired at all. The more I gave, the better I felt. And what about the students? They were engaged during the entire class. It was the old me, the younger me, the dancer me there in that space again.
I have been holding back and it is so obvious how much it affects both me and my students. I had more energy than I had felt all week. It is such an easy fix that it really surprised me. It especially surprised me because it was so easy. It is something I really hadn't realized I had been doing for a while now. My personality is to go "all in" and I have only been giving about 45%. An easy course correction now that I have realized what I have been doing. Is it too late to shift course? Never! Beginning again is the hallmark of a reflective practice. And so...let's go!
