Taking on more is always my way of feeling I am staying ahead. I have been feeling the need to do less and do it better. There are always feelings of inadequacies, which I realize are feelings, not reality. I am used to getting more than my share of attention, and with that comes a hunger for always being acknowledged as the best and brightest. But at some point it is time to realize my own worth, and stop expecting the reinforcement of others saying that I am doing well.
The need for acceptance, has always been tantamount to my drug. The more I get the more I seem to require, until nothing is enough and life seems to be centered around getting positive attention. Isn't mindfulness being assured that what you are and where you are is the right place? There seems to be a point of diminishing returns with need for attention and acceptance. Don't I need to accept myself, in order to achieve a higher ground?
Whatever the answer to those mostly existential questions, I know who I am, and age, or job, or status shift of any kind can't change or alter that. It is the firm security upon which "it is enough" needs to be based.
When more isn't enough, what can fill the need to prove myself, to me and no one else?
