What do I want to get out of the week?
This is a new way of approaching my tasks. Instead of worrying about "output", my focus needs to be what is the input. I want to feel and learn each day of the week.
My sponge questions are out there and sometimes my answers vary from day to day. I want to feel loved and needed at work, at home, and in life. I want to unlearn my feeling like I'm a fraud. I want to learn from others and not feel threatened. These are lofty goals, but all are attainable.
I had three great weeks to feel new and refreshed in New York and I still feel the energy of those days. However, this week, more than even last, my energy has begun to flag. I am a little depressed and of course I am worried that nothing will have changed for me and for my practice.
Today, my energy was at an all time low. It was raining and I stayed in and relaxed. That is so hard to feel good about but because when school starts, I won't have time for that, I guess I should just appreciate and use this time to feel relaxed. There is another attitude I want to adapt. That of my dog, Tavvy. When he is walking he gives it his all. When he relaxes, he give that his best shot. What if I could work hard and relax equally hard? Could this retain a sense of energy and fun for the year? Who knows. I just have to try it out.
