Getting into the rhythm of summer takes me a good amount of time. Today I slept in to 6:45 am! That, in some ways, worries me. I don't want to be too relaxed. In eighteen days, I will be on my fellowship. I need some sort of edge! But on the other hand, it feels normal. Life during the school year is compressed and pressured and there are very few times I don't have extra work. I do tend to make a lot of work for myself and what will I do after my Master's Thesis is done...have to find a new pursuit.
For now, every day, is a reinvention of myself. My dream last night was I was in a group of my educator peers and they ignored me. My fear, as always, is that I am not taken seriously and reflecting on that is what drives me. Though these are feelings, not reality, it is what I grapple with daily. In spite of this, I embrace my human side that is imperfect and needs renewal daily, hourly, weekly. I hope this fellowship allows me to make that part of my work during the year.
